Words Words Words
/Words matter. Word choice matters. And context is everything.
I have often heard the saying that “words are magic,” and it’s difficult to disagree.
We can utilize language to create so many things:
We can create visuals to be imagined.
We can conjure emotions.
We can make peace.
We can force conflict.
We can make art.
We can tell stories.
We can build entire worlds.
Words are extraordinarily powerful, and it’s good to occasionally take stock and think about the way words affect our lives and the world around us.
Plus, it just might help your art as well. 😉
Choice
The English language is a fantastic and strange little mixture, made up of Germanic Anglo-Saxon roots with heavy borrowings of Old Norse, Norman French, Parisienne French, Latin, and oh-so-many more languages throughout time.
Basically, it’s language stew.
But that means that - unlike so many other languages around the globe - English has a built-in flexibility to adopt words, which expand its vocabulary and allow for nuances in its synonyms.
We can say essentially the same thing in multiple ways, but with each way meaning something only slightly different.
In other words (ehn? see?) - Word Choice Matters.
Let’s look at an example.
The following three phrases say, at their core, the same thing:
Killer Kitties
Fatal Felines
Deadly Cats
All three of these phrases are expressing something that means “some form of feline creature with the ability to kill.” However, due to the slight changes in the word choice, they each give off a slightly different intention in their meaning.
To me, “Killer Kitties” sounds either like a YouTube compilation video of extremely not-so-ferocious kittens trying sooo adorably hard to be predators, or like an anime series of a cute, crime-fighting cat squad.
“Fatal Felines” sounds like the title to a bad film noir starring actual cats, or some Natural History Museum exhibit on the world’s various cat predators.
And “Deadly Cats” sounds more factual and almost boring in comparison to the other two, like a half-hour filler program on NatGeo airing at 11am on a weekday.
Three phrases that all contain the same information, yet they create such different results. Words matter.
Context
Context is Queen. She rules all.
As great as word choice can be in conveying a thought the way that you specifically intend, the context in which it is said can alter every intention you had.
And to clarify, by context I mean: Who is saying it, To Whom it is being said, Where it is being said, When it is being said, Why it is being said, and How it is being said.
There are a lot of variables, which is exactly why context can be so tricky and important.
Let’s take a simple, often-said phrase as our example:
I love you.
“Aw, what a lovely choice of words for an example, Michael!”
Or is it? Dun dun dun.
The utterance of this phrase from one human being to another in various contexts has been the driving force behind a mass of storytelling and media throughout humanity’s recorded history. It’s a powerful phrase that can change drastically dependent upon its context.
Who Is Saying It
Let’s begin with Who is saying it:
A small child?
A parent?
A friend?
A significant other?
A lover?
A friend who wants to be more than a friend?
A stranger?
You may have noticed that you felt fine with the options at the beginning of the list, but felt less so by the end. And you see how expanding on the idea of “a friend” into “a friend who wants to be more than a friend” changes the context?
Well, what about if we do the same thing to “a stranger”? I’m assuming you didn’t feel great about that one upon reading it, but let’s expand our word choices to be either:
“A stranger you’ve been on five dates with, been flirting with for a month, and has now completely opened up to you and said ‘I love you for the first time.’”
“A stranger you’ve never seen before in your life trying to follow you home from the bar.”
The meaning of “stranger” is suddenly different based on its own context and who is saying the word. Context is powerful.
To Whom Is It Being Said
This one is fairly intuitive.
We may often say “I love you” to people in our lives, but we mean it differently depending on who we are speaking to.
And this is mostly because the love we feel for various people in our lives is different. Love is a large conglomeration of complex emotions and there are many nuances.
Think about how the meaning of that phrase would change if you were to say “I love you” to:
A colleague
A friend
A parent
A friend’s parent
A grandparent
A teacher
An acquaintance
A date
A boyfriend/girlfriend
A spouse
An ex
A boss
It can just keep going
How deep is the love you’re expressing? Are you just expressing, or do you want something in return? How would you define that specific love?
All of these can change depending on the person you are speaking to.
Where Is It Being Said
Many a sit-com episode and rom-com film have had climactic scenes based on this idea, particularly when “I love you” is being said romantically between two people for the very first time.
And this is again fairly intuitive.
It’s quite different to tell someone for the first time in the middle of a candle-lit dinner date than it is to say it for the first time in the middle of a break-up.
But even with dramatic situations aside, where we say it can still alter the strength and meaning behind what we say.
For instance, let’s assume you are with a friend you love deeply. How does saying “I love you” change in depth and meaning when either:
They’ve just made you laugh raucously with a joke that only the two of you would get.
You’re comforting them at a funeral for their older sibling.
Oof. Context matters.
When Is It Being Said
Let’s use the example I mentioned above of saying it for the first time during a break-up.
Even in the midst of a single conversation, when that phrase is uttered can make all of the difference. For this example, let’s assume the person in the couple saying it for the first time is the person being broken up with.
Here are three thoughts:
If “I love you” is the first thing said in the break up conversation, perhaps it was said with joy and expectation, but it instead becomes the impetus for the conversation and the break-up itself.
If said in the middle of the break-up conversation, perhaps it becomes part of the person’s argument as to why this break-up feels sudden and has taken them off-guard.
If said at the end of the conversation - even as the last word - perhaps it becomes a desperate, last-ditch effort to get the other person to stay.
Small changes to the When can alter the emotional state both people are in, and therefore change the intention behind the words.
Look for this the next time you watch a romantic comedy - it’s kind of fun to analyze!
Why Is It Being Said
Ultimately, the Why is attached to the combination of Who-To Whom-Where-When. Not that it isn’t important to note, but it is often generated by the surrounding circumstances.
We rarely say things just to say them - there’s usually a specific intention behind it.
To continue with this idea of love, we don’t stop loving people just because we aren’t saying it every second of every day. Which means that there must be an environmental reason that we choose to say “I love you” when we do.
Here are a few examples:
A parent tucking their child in for bed after a particularly difficult day for the two of them.
A just-married couple sitting on the bed, taking off their shoes, and exhaling, being alone for the first time since the reception ended five minutes ago.
A friend to their best friend who just delivered the goofiest and most public prom-posal in the middle of the school cafeteria.
With the remaining context, the why becomes apparent. What motivates us is fodder for good stories.
How Is It Being Said
More than anything, the way we say something is a window into our current emotional state.
People often believe that the way they speak tends to be a reflection of their current environment.
How many times have you heard a teenager say that they’re only being defensive with their parents because “they’re just so annoying” or “they keep asking so many questions”?
But the way we say something isn’t based upon the outer environment, it’s a reflection of how we feel internally.
Perhaps that teenager is being defensive when asked about how much homework they have because they’re feeling entirely overwhelmed by the amount of work they have to do, and it’s difficult or them to speak about. Or perhaps it’s because they plan to never do it, and parents can’t know that if they never knew how much there was in the first place.
The other side of How has to do with inflection and intent.
Context matters to determine the meaning behind word choice, but words have different meanings and connotations to each of us individually and culturally. An extreme example of this is how the “c-word” for female genitalia is a highly-charged and taboo word in the US, but a commonly used utterance in the UK.
And this is also where the internet and social media becomes a tremendous issue.
Ever gotten reprimanded on Facebook or into an online argument with someone who cannot understand the context behind your words?
Or have you ever gotten angry at someone because you saw something they wrote and you put your own tone on their words, making it become inflammatory?
The internet is great for communication in so many ways, but it makes context difficult and intended inflection almost impossible.
The more contextual information we have, the better off we are.
So perhaps the “kids” really do have it right by communicating mostly through Facetime, Instagram, and Tik Tok. Who knows?
And So
I love words. They bring me joy and they are the basis of both my art and my career.
But remembering their power and their importance is necessary to good communication and also to building a better world.
Take that extra time to think through your word choice and the context - and not just the context for you, but for the other parties involved as well.
You may just find a better balance in the world you create.
